Bringing Down The Berlin Wall Was Easier Than A Functional Parent / Teacher Meeting At School

When did the dynamics of a parent / teacher meeting at school become so hostile that the UN can hold peace talks easier than have a functional meeting between a parent and a teacher?  Of course not every parent is hostile, nor is every teacher. But, astoundingly … most parents have had more than one hostile encounter at a school meeting of some sort, and nearly every educator / administrator has had several.  Why? 

Parents and teachers have been communicating about children since the beginning of time, but somehow I don’t think that the school marm in the single room school house on the prarie filled out a meeting request form complete with a page on parental rights in triplicate and sent it home with little Johnny Appleseed to be signed, dated, and returned by Martha Appleseed (Johnny’s mom) after she put the meeting in her Iphone.  I don’t think Martha brought advocates, lawyers, experts, or tape recorders to the meeting and I don’t think Miss Marm had folders full of evidence that Johnny had trouble paying attention to details in class to share with his mom, or have a team of administrators ready to back her up.

Johnny was not labeled “Attention Deficit”, “ADD / ADHD” (he had trouble staying focused on the lesson and learned best when he was walking), “Learning Disabled” (he had trouble reading and spelling, but kept great math scores by counting apple seeds in math class), “OCD” (he couldn’t quit thinking about apples and counting his seeds).  He wasn’t called “Delusional” because he felt compelled to lead a movement in society themed around an apple.  He wasn’t given medication to help him focus and fit it and be more productive.

I doubt that Miss Marm had to have daily, weekly, and monthly lesson plans.  I don’t think anyone ever told her that her whole class had to learn at exactly the same rate.  On the contrary, I think common sense dictated that each child would have strengths and weaknesses in the classroom, as well as responsibilities and gifts outside the classroom.  I don’t think she had an entire legal team and administrative team overseeing her every move and threatening her job every time she turned around.  On the contrary, I think she had very few people to answer to outside of the parents and possibly a local pastor.  I don’t think she took the job expecting a high salary and retirement benefits – she took it because she had a calling to relate to and teach children.  Any monetary gain outside of housing and food was a blessing as she saw it – and she was thankful for it. After all, how many people did she know that got to do what they were called to do – all day long?  Not many.

I don’t think that Martha showed up with a full Psycho-Educational report on Johnny to demonstrate that he was a hard worker with an above average intellectual ability, but had trouble focusing on reading and spelling.  I don’t think she was afraid that Miss Marm would contact the authorities because Johnny came to school with dirty feet from walking through the apple orchards on the way to school, or because she couldn’t afford more than two sets of clothes for him.  I’m sure she didn’t belong to POFLS (Parents Of Fruit Loving Students) and she did not insist that the school currriculum include National Apple Month with an assortment of apple themed activities  in the name of student diversity. 

No, I’m pretty sure none of those things happened.  I’m willing to bet that Miss. Marm saw Martha at church and asked her to stop by the schoolroom whenever she had time and was nearby. She did – and brought Miss Marm an apple pie from the apple trees that Johnny had grown.  They then sat down and chatted about Johnny’s classroom grades (Martha already knew his strengths & weaknesses – she was his mom, duh).  Miss Marm decided to try reading and spelling apple terms on flashcards to help him learn to read.  He would study maps of where different apples grew to learn Geography. They hugged each other when they parted.  Neither adult was angry or defensive. And, most importantly, Johnny knew there were two adults in the world he could trust and who loved him.  He knew that no matter how many times he had to practice his lessons with Miss Marm – she respected him and would be patient with him.  She would stand by his side as he worked harder and harder. And she would celebrate with his mom when he mastered reading and writing. 

Luck kid, that Johnny.

Organizational Skills Help Family Harmony

The days of letting someone else take care of us and trusting others to act in our best interest is past.  The world today requires each individual to be responsible for their own life.  That means that more is required from each man, woman and child today than ever before.  It is no longer reasonable to think that you can remember all of the account information, log ins, passwords, phone numbers, and dates that are important in your life.  Overloading your brain isn’t needed…organization is.

Organization is NOT the same thing as rigid thinking.  On the contrary, organized people tend to be able to adapt to changing circumstances more quickly than the folks who are scattered.

Successful, happy people are organized and communicate clearly.  It’s that simple. They spend 30 minutes getting organized so that when something unexpected happens, they don’t waste three days trying to find the right documents.

I cannot count how many times I’ve encountered families that are stressed to the max because they can’t get their act together on any of a number of issues.  Husbands and wives argue weekly about finances, parents and children get stressed about school supplies, lunches, clothes, assignments – any number of things.  Everyone gets stressed about bills, identity theft, and end of life issues (wills, living wills, trusts, etc).  Why? Because they need to spend a little time and effort at preventing conflict, rather than becoming embroiled in the ensuing drama. 

Each member of the family should have all of their information at their fingertips in the event that their identity is stolen or compromised in some manner.  All finances should be in a budget (not to limit spending, but to wisely plan the spending). The budget should be clear and easy to talk about.  It’s a matter of math, not emotions. All legal, investment, and banking information should be easy to get to and accessable.  End of life issues should not rip families apart, they should be well organized, easy to read, and easy to find. 

Meals can be planned as menus so children can fix their own breakfasts and lunches.  Dinners that are planned cost less. Shopping that is planned and coordinated with sale events and coupons can cost pennies, not dollars. 

Men who spend 30 minutes a year putting birthdays and anniversaries in their planner, phone, computer and on their calendar don’t get into trouble when they walk in the door at home.  If they put gift and card shopping into their planning device a week before the event, they become heros and knights in shining armor when they walk in the door with a card and gift on the right day.

Parents that go to parent-teacher meetings at school well organized have less emotional meetings and communicate better with teachers.

Students that use their planners, phones, computers, (name your favorite device) to plan not only assignments, but test preparation, studying for quizzes, project assembly and design, as well as use a planner for their social life (clubs and sports) are FAR less stressed than those who try to remember each detail of information in their lives that constantly changes.

Most importantly, adults that teach children how to plan and enforce the use of organizational skill development are responsible adults.  The children will learn not only planning and organizational skills, but many more important lessons about communication, responsibility, emotional maturity, problem solving, and delayed gratification. 

Now, THAT will change the world!

The Tremendous Impact Of Families

Parents…wake up! 

Your children are yours to raise. They don’t belong to the school.  Children learn immensely more from their home setting than they learn from schools, classrooms, and teachers.  They learn universal life skills like communication, ethics, morals, emotional maturity, honesty, compassion and integrity.  They also can learn skills like passive-agressiveness, abuse, hate, and bigotry.  I know that those things exist outside your home too – they exist outside my home as well.  But it’s your job to protect and train your child to not just exist outside your home, but to thrive and succeed in whatever they pursue.  Children need to know they are safe.  They need to feel proud of who they are and where they came from.  They need to know how to stand up to bullies in an appropriate manner.  They need to know how to mind their own business and how to ignore the drama of others.  They need to know how to take care of themselves. 

If they don’t learn those skills, it doesn’t matter what the schools teach – they will be lost because they won’t be healthy enough to want to learn any academic skills.

Young boys need to grow up to be strong, loving men that take care of their families and young girls need to grow up to be intelligent ladies who are neither helpless or drama queens.

The job of a school is only to teach a curriculum – the job of a parent is to form our future.  Think about it and pray for strength, courage, wisdom and patience.

Organization / Planning / Strategic Thinking

Attention & Focus